Whew…

I’ve been away for a while, again. I have been really busy with the new job and partying and enjoying the city life. It’s funny, when I moved up here, I met a guy that said that he doesn’t venture much outside of Fell’s Point. I thought this was very curious. With all of the activity happening in the city, how could you not venture outside of that. 

And yet, I find myself in the same routing. I don’t drive. I bike everywhere. It’s not an elitist thing, it’s a poor thing. I just can’t afford a car. Someday, I will have one again, just not today. 

So, we’ve had a couple of parties. The best was the Halloween party. My costume trumped all others, for I was Ron Swanson. I grew a sweet ass mustache. It was perfect. I’m a little hungover right now. Sorry if this seems a little disjointed. Anywho… I am off to watch some television and vegetate. Skal. Ezra.

11.08.11 0
New Job, New Place.

I’m getting ready to start a job at a new restaurant owned by an actor in Baltimore’s Little Italy. I’m excited and apprehensive. It’s a new place. I’m unfamiliar with Baltimore. This job just honestly fell into my lap.

I was at my brother’s sister- in- law’s. We were partying hard. Jello shots and video games ensued. Midnight rolls around and I get a phone call from mi madre. It’s midnight. I’m near plastered. She is out for after dinner drinks with her friends and they went to this restaurant. She talked up my mad skills as a pizzaiolo, someone that can throw dough like a beast, and got me an interview the next day. I completely forgot. She brought me a brief of the owner and his restaurant to read on the way up. 20 minutes into the interview, they offered me the job.

So now, I have a job 40 minutes away. I don’t drive, as I couldn’t afford to keep my car after the economic collapse in 2008. So, I need to find a place. I put my feelers out there and try to find a place. I found a couple, but the real winner came when a server at the restaurant heard of my plight and said that she was in a similar situation and offered that we should find a place together. Boom.

Place found. Moving in as early as next week. This is crazy. It gives me a completely new opportunity to explore. It gives me the chance to get back into school. It gives me the chance to be a plank owner at a new celebrity owned restaurant and endless upward mobility.

So, I am apprehensive, excited, nervous, jubilant, exhausted, overcome, and fucking freaked the fuck out. Wish me luck.

Skål.

Ezra

07.21.11 0
Movies that I loathe. Part I.

The Rite
Sir Anthony Hopkins “becomes possessed” after years of dealing with “possessed” people. Or he’s just tired of dealing with the mentally ill or troubled and it begins to wear on him. “Exorcism” is magic bullshit. Those people need help. Your magic spells are a placebo. Let a real medical professional help them.

07.14.11 0
My Funeral

I think that death most certainly has a lighter side. Not particularly believing in heaven myself, but acknowledging that people do, you can only wonder, “Why are people so sad at funerals?”

That’s silly. If ultimately, someone is going to enjoy the afterlife or reincarnation, or nirvana, wouldn’t their passing be a joyous occasion. Fuck yeah. That’s why I want a party.

I want to set aside enough money that I can send all of my friends to the bar for the night, so that they can just get all sorts of shitty. I want them to roast me. I want them to tell my most embarrassing moments. I won’t “be there,” so what’s the harm in poking fun. If anything, it will help them in their grieving process. I don’t want to be grieved. I want to be missed, if only for my absurdity. 

I want my ashes to be placed in a papier-mâché form of sorts, hopefully a beast of legend. And I want that set on fire. I, then, want that launched from a fucking trebuchet into the ocean. I want there to be a gigantic explosion, because, there will be dynamite in the papier-mâché beast of legend.

That will be it. I will have a lawyer scribe that into my will. I just had that thought and thought that I would share.

All for now. Skål.

Ezra

07.09.11 0

He’s a talented guy. That is beyond question. His humour is intelligent, insightful, and insulting. He cleverly twists phrases, makes obscure references, and pisses on the people that love him. He seems to scorn his audience for enjoying his art. This makes me angry, because I truly enjoy what he does, even when he is berating me for enjoying it, I appreciate it even more. It’s a vicious cycle. In the end, I am pissed to the point I want to hit him with a baseball bat. I can’t find the speaker of it but someone said of Charlie Chaplin, “If he weren’t suck a great dancer, I’d break his fucking legs.”

That’s kind of how it is.

But Charlie Chaplin also said, “Actors search for rejection. If they don’t get it they reject themselves.”

But God Damn You, Bo. You fucking ass clown. If you want to be a martyr, feel free to give away your fortune, perform free concerts or benefits, and live in squalor. Until then just play the fucking piano. I don’t want to be insulted. I could go to any bar and start making vulgar comments to a hot chick and get that. Tell your jokes, sing your songs. Douche Fuck.


06.19.11 0
Untitled

So, I met my niece, Camilla,(http://www.kovd.tumblr.com/) for the second time today. It’s crazy to marvel at how fast they grow. In a recent conversation with a friend, we were discussing gestation of every other mammal and how their offspring come out ready to walk and almost forage on their own. Human babies come out and they are almost still larval. Their exoskeleton has yet to harden. They need to be constantly tended to. They aren’t able to run, they don’t have any teeth and their communication skills are limited to burping, screaming and cooing. I’m excited to have kids someday. I’m terrified, and have no desire to do it right now. I could not responsibly rear a child right now. But when the moment comes, I feel that I will be better prepared than most. All for now.

Skål.

Ezra

06.10.11 0

This makes me want to run through a forest; I know it’s crazy. Occasionally, I go through a Bohemian/ Indie phase. I like it. Skål. Ezra.

06.07.11 0
Famous Drunks

People say Alcoholic like it is a bad thing. I don’t believe in alcoholism. I think it is a joke and a crutch to lean upon. If you think that you are an alcoholic, you are making worse life decisions than drinking. Here is a list of people that achieved extraordinary things and still pickled themselves.

Edgar A. Poe: wrote some of the greatest Gothic literature of all time. Died in a gutter.

Ulysses S. Grant: Great General. Shitty President. Hated the White House so much, he hung out in a hotel lobby drinking. Invented the term Lobbyists. You’re welcome, America.

Ernest Hemingway: Wrote “A Farewell to Arms,” “The Old Man and the Sea,” and “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” And told F. Scott Fitzgerald to, “Chuck his balls into the sea.” He was a complete literary genius and unabashed drunk.

Jack Kerouac: Drove his car across country, probably blitzed, and people still know his name. Have you ever tried that?

Ambrose Bierce: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. Enough said.

Winston Churchill: Beat Nazis with a shovel. Seriously. You can thank him.

All for now.

Skål.

Ezra

06.06.11 0
Oh, Annapolis

So, I just moved back to my favourite little hamlet, known as Annapolis. It’s wonderful. Had more than a fist full of beers at the cigar shop over a stogie and then we moved the party to Ramshead. They have a marvelous little thing there called The World Beer Club. I’ve knocked down 42/ 100. It’s impressive. But I am commited to seeing it through. I have a wicked hangover and it’s 6:45pm and we stopped drinking around 3am. I am beat, but I wanted to offer a small ode to the city I love.

Skål.

Ezra

06.06.11 0
Walt wrote it right.

Come my tan-faced children,
Follow well in order, get your weapons ready,
Have you your pistols? have you your sharp-edged axes?
Pioneers! O pioneers!

For we cannot tarry here,
We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger,
We the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O you youths, Western youths,
So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride and friendship,
Plain I see you Western youths, see you tramping with the foremost,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Have the elder races halted?
Do they droop and end their lesson, wearied over there beyond the seas?
We take up the task eternal, and the burden and the lesson,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

All the past we leave behind,
We debouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world,
Fresh and strong the world we seize, world of labor and the march,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

We detachments steady throwing,
Down the edges, through the passes, up the mountains steep,
Conquering, holding, daring, venturing as we go the unknown ways,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

We primeval forests felling,
We the rivers stemming, vexing we and piercing deep the mines within,
We the surface broad surveying, we the virgin soil upheaving,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Colorado men are we,
From the peaks gigantic, from the great sierras and the high plateaus,
From the mine and from the gully, from the hunting trail we come,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

From Nebraska, from Arkansas,
Central inland race are we, from Missouri, with the continental
blood intervein’d,
All the hands of comrades clasping, all the Southern, all the Northern,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O resistless restless race!
O beloved race in all! O my breast aches with tender love for all!
O I mourn and yet exult, I am rapt with love for all,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Raise the mighty mother mistress,
Waving high the delicate mistress, over all the starry mistress,
(bend your heads all,)
Raise the fang’d and warlike mistress, stern, impassive, weapon’d mistress,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

See my children, resolute children,
By those swarms upon our rear we must never yield or falter,
Ages back in ghostly millions frowning there behind us urging,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

On and on the compact ranks,
With accessions ever waiting, with the places of the dead quickly fill’d,
Through the battle, through defeat, moving yet and never stopping,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O to die advancing on!
Are there some of us to droop and die? has the hour come?
Then upon the march we fittest die, soon and sure the gap is fill’d.
Pioneers! O pioneers!

All the pulses of the world,
Falling in they beat for us, with the Western movement beat,
Holding single or together, steady moving to the front, all for us,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Life’s involv’d and varied pageants,
All the forms and shows, all the workmen at their work,
All the seamen and the landsmen, all the masters with their slaves,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

All the hapless silent lovers,
All the prisoners in the prisons, all the righteous and the wicked,
All the joyous, all the sorrowing, all the living, all the dying,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

I too with my soul and body,
We, a curious trio, picking, wandering on our way,
Through these shores amid the shadows, with the apparitions pressing,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Lo, the darting bowling orb!
Lo, the brother orbs around, all the clustering suns and planets,
All the dazzling days, all the mystic nights with dreams,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

These are of us, they are with us,
All for primal needed work, while the followers there in embryo wait behind,
We to-day’s procession heading, we the route for travel clearing,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O you daughters of the West!
O you young and elder daughters! O you mothers and you wives!
Never must you be divided, in our ranks you move united,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Minstrels latent on the prairies!
(Shrouded bards of other lands, you may rest, you have done your work,)
Soon I hear you coming warbling, soon you rise and tramp amid us,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Not for delectations sweet,
Not the cushion and the slipper, not the peaceful and the studious,
Not the riches safe and palling, not for us the tame enjoyment,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Do the feasters gluttonous feast?
Do the corpulent sleepers sleep? have they lock’d and bolted doors?
Still be ours the diet hard, and the blanket on the ground,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Has the night descended?
Was the road of late so toilsome? did we stop discouraged nodding
on our way?
Yet a passing hour I yield you in your tracks to pause oblivious,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Till with sound of trumpet,
Far, far off the daybreak call—hark! how loud and clear I hear it wind,
Swift! to the head of the army!—swift! spring to your places,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

I have not read this in some time. I find it motivating and depressing. I love it.
Skål. Ezra

05.25.11 0