This post is entitled “Ezra Ruins Things,” for that very reason. I am about to ruin things. If you don’t want to be disappointed and pissed at the end, stop reading.
The DaVinci Code, by Dan Brown
Sophie Neveu is the last in the bloodline of Joshua of Nazareth.
The Holy Grail is not actually, San Greal, but Sang Real, which means Royal Blood.
The King’s Speech
* Colin Firth, as Prince Albert, learns how to overcome his stammer with the help of Captain Barbossa.
The Chronicles of Narnia
This is C.S. Lewis’ response to Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, which is for better part atheistic. Aslan is Joshua of Nazareth.
School was junk, I didn’t need to finish it, because I use the same disarming spell that I learned in Year One to kill Voldemort. Oh, and Snape wanted to bone my mom.
Natalie Portman went crazy through years of abuse by her mother and the fact that all ballerinas are batshit crazy. She stabs herself and dies. And Mila Kunis eats her out.
Sir Anthony Hopkins “becomes possessed” after years of dealing with “possessed” people. Or he’s just tired of dealing with the mentally ill or troubled and it begins to wear on him. “Exorcism” is magic bullshit. Those people need help. Your magic spells are a placebo. Let a real medical professional help them.