February 2012
4 posts
I'm hungry
I think that I will make buffalo chicken for lunch. It’s been a minute since I’ve had some really good wings and I gots me a craving. I’m not sure how I am going to go about it, but if it is a success, I will post the recipe. If it is a failure, I will also post the recipe. That way you know what not to make. Duh. Okay. Here I go. Skal. Ezra.
I need more ink
Tattoos are awesome. Some not, but most are. I want more ink. I only have two. One on my right deltoid, my family crest, and one across my shoulders, AEQVITAS. Both are pretty badass, but they seem a little disjointed. I need more to unify them. You can’t see them, unless I am not wearing a shirt. That is my intention.
I don’t find a public display of tattoos in certain industries...
I am so tred.
Period. GFY. Skal. Ezra
November 2011
1 post
Whew...
I’ve been away for a while, again. I have been really busy with the new job and partying and enjoying the city life. It’s funny, when I moved up here, I met a guy that said that he doesn’t venture much outside of Fell’s Point. I thought this was very curious. With all of the activity happening in the city, how could you not venture outside of that.
And yet, I find myself...
July 2011
3 posts
New Job, New Place.
I’m getting ready to start a job at a new restaurant owned by an actor in Baltimore’s Little Italy. I’m excited and apprehensive. It’s a new place. I’m unfamiliar with Baltimore. This job just honestly fell into my lap.
I was at my brother’s sister- in- law’s. We were partying hard. Jello shots and video games ensued. Midnight rolls around and I get a...
Movies that I loathe. Part I.
The Rite Sir Anthony Hopkins “becomes possessed” after years of dealing with “possessed” people. Or he’s just tired of dealing with the mentally ill or troubled and it begins to wear on him. “Exorcism” is magic bullshit. Those people need help. Your magic spells are a placebo. Let a real medical professional help them.
My Funeral
I think that death most certainly has a lighter side. Not particularly believing in heaven myself, but acknowledging that people do, you can only wonder, “Why are people so sad at funerals?”
That’s silly. If ultimately, someone is going to enjoy the afterlife or reincarnation, or nirvana, wouldn’t their passing be a joyous occasion. Fuck yeah. That’s why I want a...
June 2011
5 posts
Untitled
So, I met my niece, Camilla,(http://www.kovd.tumblr.com/) for the second time today. It’s crazy to marvel at how fast they grow. In a recent conversation with a friend, we were discussing gestation of every other mammal and how their offspring come out ready to walk and almost forage on their own. Human babies come out and they are almost still larval. Their exoskeleton has yet to harden....
Famous Drunks
People say Alcoholic like it is a bad thing. I don’t believe in alcoholism. I think it is a joke and a crutch to lean upon. If you think that you are an alcoholic, you are making worse life decisions than drinking. Here is a list of people that achieved extraordinary things and still pickled themselves.
Edgar A. Poe: wrote some of the greatest Gothic literature of all time. Died in a...
Oh, Annapolis
So, I just moved back to my favourite little hamlet, known as Annapolis. It’s wonderful. Had more than a fist full of beers at the cigar shop over a stogie and then we moved the party to Ramshead. They have a marvelous little thing there called The World Beer Club. I’ve knocked down 42/ 100. It’s impressive. But I am commited to seeing it through. I have a wicked hangover and...
May 2011
6 posts
Walt wrote it right.
Come my tan-faced children, Follow well in order, get your weapons ready, Have you your pistols? have you your sharp-edged axes? Pioneers! O pioneers! For we cannot tarry here, We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger, We the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend, Pioneers! O pioneers! O you youths, Western youths, So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride...
Kind of how I feel at the moment. →
My Motherfucking Beard
I love my beard. It is in a word, “Sheer Goddamn Manliness.” There is something to a well kept beard that demands respect. Not a sloppy unkempt one, nor one that is overly manicured. That looks like shit. Don’t ever trim your beard into tiny lines. That makes you look like a pretentious douche. You spend way too much time on your face. You should probably just take that really...
I guess that I am not sleeping tonight.
I just brewed a pot of coffee out of shear boredom. I miss my blend of Italian Roasted Costa Rican Tarazu and Indian Monsoon Malabar. That nice full- bodied roastiness with the funky, musty quality of the low acid Malabar was fantastic. I brewed it Turkish and then passed through a filter, resulting in a cup of black gold that has almost no bitterness. I tried to replicate some semblance of that...
April 2011
3 posts
The Really Defense
I don’t know that this has ever been tried before and it may be a ground-breaking, earth-shattering, cosmos-exploding revelation. I know that once I utter it that I cannot really ever use it myself. Therefore, I offer it up to you, O huddled masses.
The Really Defense.
It is all that you should ever need inside of a courtroom. When asked any direct question, I feel that you can look at the...
If Pro and Con are opposites, what is the opposite...
You mean to tell me that one of the hold- ups, in coming to a compromise, with the budget debate is funding for Planned Parenthood? Seriously. Grow up, Congress.
Let’s list the other vital services that include Birth control, fostering positive body images, emergency contraceptive, general health care, men’s sexual health issues, pregnancy counseling and check ups, relationship counseling,...
March 2011
2 posts
1 tag
Taylor Swift is Creepy.
Yes. I have been force fed this weird girls excuse for music for a while now and I find her incredibly creepy. Her lyrics are immature and, quite frankly, scary.
“Standing by and waiting at your back door All this time, how could you not know? Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me”
That is very unnerving. I understand that she is 21 and was sort of catapulted into a career and...
November 2010
1 post
Sabbatical
I’ve been away. It’s been a while. I apologize to nobody that may read this. I don’t think that I have any kind of following and people that may just stumble upon this tumble log, probably don’t care enough to return. I hope that I entertain and maybe cause a chuckle, but I have no way of knowing. This is ultimately an exercise in self aggrandization. This is me flexing...
September 2010
3 posts
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Coffee is good, beer is better. But for some odd reason, they frown when I crack one open at work. Sheesh. Skål. Ezra
Bill Watterson, because of you I say smooch
A Nauseous Nocturne
Another night deprived of slumber, Hours passing without number, My eye trace ‘round the room. I lay
Dripping sweat and now quite certain That tonight the final curtain Drops upon my life’s short precious play.
From the darkness, by the closet Comes a noise, much like a faucet Making a mad drip-drip-dripping sound.
It seems some ill-proportioned beast, ...
Another Shit. Piss. Balls.
Every time that I seem to have some semblance of my shit being together or getting together, someone or something decides to throw a giant fucking monkey wrench at my nuts.
It can’t be karma. I’d like to think of myself as a generally good person. So what cosmic forces are conspiring against me, I haven’t the foggiest idea. I just know that we need to have a talk and they need...
August 2010
4 posts
Ouch
I did something unholy to my shoulder last night. I’m not sure what, but it is killing me today. I can’t raise my hand higher than my waist without a crippling fucking pain. I don’t know how Vikings and other warriors did it. I stub my toe and I’m on the verge of tears. I’m not pussy, but I couldn’t imagine taking a sword to the arm and continue fighting. That...
Fucking Jersey Shore
Everyone has a guilty pleasure. Everyone. Some dudes like to drink Smirnoff Ices, others don’t want to admit that they love the ballet. Some chicks would never want to admit that they gorge on chocolate behind closed doors. Mine is the Jersey Shore.
These “people” if you can quantify them at that are disgusting, superficial, vermin. The men objectify women with such lovely...
Fuck.
Shit. Piss. Balls
July 2010
17 posts
Breakfast and Beer.
There are few things better than having a fantastic breakfast after a night of liver rape. There are even fewer breakfast foods that really satiate me, however. I like to cook with booze, so dishes that lend themselves well to drinking while I cook are even better. Beer pretty much goes in everything. I have a few key dishes that are easy to make and parts can be prepared and set aside until...
Silly Vegetarians... Meat is for humans.
I am not a militant person. There are things that upset me and there are things that I feel the need to raise my voice and feel the need to be heard.
Hello. My name is Ezra and I am an omnivoure.
I eat everything, as nature intended. I feel that every time that I make an affirmation of my love of meat in front of vegetarians, or even worse, vegans, that I am being judged. I’m not going to...
Beer Time II
The other day, a few friends and I toured the Heavy Seas Brewery in Halethorpe, Maryland. It was fantastic. You arrive at what looks like any other normal industrial park. There are nondescript trucks outside, loading docks, offices and such, but once inside there is a wonderland that would bring most grown men to tears.
We walked in the front door and presented our ids. The atmosphere was...
Binary Lady Game
I was bored at a job, once and decided that there are two many ways to rate the fairer sex. Everyone has their own criterion and ideas as to the perfect lady. There is the standard 1-10 system, some might take it to 100. Then, there is the alphabet. Who decided on that one? You have to count letters? Not in my system.
A computer works in a very simple language. Binary. Everything that your...
Beer Time.
As previously stated, I drink. I’d like to consider myself a semi-pro. I don’t get paid, yet, but I am getting there. I love to drink. I can get down with the occasion cheap drunk i.e. Keystone Light and National Bohemian, but when the money gods are kind and like to share with me, I prefer good beer. Or Bourbon, but mostly beer.
I have some brilliant parents, who brought us up well...
God and Physics
It’s curious that the first people on this planet attributed what they saw in their everyday environment to various gods, as they didn’t have the science or the nomenclature to aptly name it. The Scandinavians had Odin, as chief justice and arbitrator, Thor ruled the skies and weather. Frig and Freya presided over war and nature, and Loki just fucked shit up. There are corollaries in...
Mr. Kerouac
But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman...
Theory of Unicornitivity
There comes a time in almost every man’s life when the hit a slump in the ladies department. You end up jumping on grenades when you don’t have to and taking one for the team that need not be taken. Have you ever woken up next to something that can only be considered a beast of legend or myth? Within the theorem, we label these creatures as U, for Unicorn. The deeming of these...
Work (when will I be discovered and not have to do...
I currently work at a coffee shop, as I stated in my welcome blurb. It’s okay. I don’t really call it work. There is nothing overly stimulating. It’s an occupier of my time at the moment. I’ve been looking for other gigs, but have yet to come across one that really tickles my fancy. And that is the crux of the matter. I have been a waiter, a cook, a sous chef, a plumber, a...
UBIs (Useless Bits of Information)
There are certain things that one accumulates in life through their journeys. Some may be active collections, such as snow globes, beer steins, postage stamps, or plasticized people parts. Others are much more passive, i.e. the family experience, the bad cheese tour, or like myself, Useless Bits of Information. You might only ever need to know these things if you are confronted by a troll on...
Hangover, O Hangover.
I like to drink. I really like to. Subsequently, this profession has a few drawbacks. I.E. Slurring ones speech, ruining your chance with hot women, ordering shots for people you just met, and taking home the occasional Unicorn. Another article will cover Unicorns. But Hell hath no fury like an epic hangover. The “I think that a pig pooped in my brain” headache, the body funk, the...
“A man said to the universe:
“Sir, I exist!
“However,” replied the universe,...”
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